Does A Snitch In Time Save Nine?

Soon after I moved to Washington Heights, I saw someone that caught my eye. It was a big Dominican guy with a black t-shirt bearing a large yellow happy face. However, instead of a smile, the happy face had a zipper where the mouth should have been, and the shirt had the slogan "Stop Snitchin" on it. The more I walked around, the more I saw the shirt, both on the backs of locals as well as sold in the shops all along the streets. Another shirt that caught my attention was one that had the well-known Warner Brothers logo, the WB shaped like a shield. Above the logo, it said "When you see the police," and across the logo were the words "Warn A Brother". At the time, I thought it was a very catchy shirt.

Apparently, Oakland has experienced a boom in the sales of "Stop Snitchin" shirts, as well as, according to this article, other similar shirts with slogans like "Ditches Are For Snitches" and "Snitches Get Stitches". The concern of city officials and some residents is that the shirts are stirring a culture of fear in the neighborhood, that it is adversely affecting the concept of community. This is a valid point, but this phenomenon also reflects the general level of distrust that these individuals have towards law enforcement and the justice system. The fact that these shirts are more prevalent in communities of color is no accident. The shirts did not create the chasm between poor people of color and the legal system, and I don't envision society altering itself in any drastic way to bridge that gap, so the t-shirts are probably here to stay. The wearers of these shirts clearly don't feel like the police have their community's best interests at heart, so they don't feel that they need to contribute to the police's efforts to "clean up the streets".

Depending on where you live, look around and see if you notice the shirts. I know I do.

Prison Break!

No, this is not really about that annoying show. I actually engineered my own prson break of sorts last night. After getting dressed to attend a party at my friend's apartment, I unlocked the door only to find that my deadbolt was jammed into the wall. After 45 minutes of futile attempts to rig my door free, I left an emergency message with my management company. Eventually, my super came by and, through the use of a crowbar, pried my door from the wall, destroying both the lock and the wall socket that the lock latches onto. Fortunately, I have a second deadbolt, so I locked that before making my way to the party.

It was a rather interesting turn of events, and my mind raced to think of solutions. I even considered exiting via my fire escape, and then reentering the building in the hopes of fixing the lock from the outside of my apartment. Also, I tried calling my next door neighbor (whose number I had only because he wrote a note near the mailboxes offering to sell various items), but it turned out that he wasn't in town. Eventually, I thought about myself being incarcerated in the apartment all weekend. My cousin might be coming into town, how would she understand that I couldn't see her because I was locked INSIDE my apartment? Who does that, really?! I guess that makes me special.

What if I had created a blueprint of my building on my chest and conjured a way to escape the confines of my apartment? Well, then I'd have the makings of a phenomenal television show, the kind that can not only nab viewers but knock out the greatest comedy of all-time right off its network. It would be such a brilliant concept that it would arrest the development of other, "inferior" programs. I should be a television executive.

Seaborn ... OUT!

NBC recently announced that it would be cancelling "The West Wing" at the end of this, its seventh, season. While undoubtedly a disappointing announcement for many loyal viewers, I think it is safe to say that the show had lost much of the magic that made it the success it was for several years. Admittedly, I was turned onto the show during its fourth season, and through the magic of DVD and the Bravo channel, found myself riveted by the program. However, I will also admit that my interest did not extend beyond the fourth season, partly because I found other shows to watch and because the show seemed to be losing its touch after creator Aaron Sorkin left. Later, when my then-roommate informed me of a plotline involving an asteroid heading towards Earth, I felt vindicated for having abandoned the show in the nick of time.

However, if you've never seen the show and are interested in the inner workings of the White House, I strongly encourage you to give the first few seasons a try. The show, which garnered a host of awards, boasted a fantastic ensemble cast, excellent writing, and storylines that never attempted to insult the audience's intelligence (disclaimer: I'm ignoring Seasons 5+, so you can't get me for the asteroid plot) while remaining compelling throughout. What could be more fitting during the newly crowned Bush administration than to have a Democratic President on television running the country the way you only wished the actual one could?

Martin Sheen shines as Josiah Bartlet, the President Of The United States (or, POTUS for short), as does John Spencer as Chief-of-Staff Leo McGarry. You may remember Spencer from "The Rock", when he played Womack, the double-crossing FBI chief who Sean Connery tosses off the balcony of the Fairmont Hotel near the beginning of the film. Sadly, art mirrored reality, when Spencer passed away last month from a heart attack, about a year after his character, Leo, had to step down from his position for suffering a heart attack as well. Also, stand-out performances are given by Richard Schiff (White House Communications Director Toby Ziegler), Bradley Whitford (Deputy Chief-of-Staff and resident hothead Joshua Lyman), Allison Janney (White House Press Secretary C.J. Cregg), Dule Hill (The President's Executive Assistant/"Body Man" Charlie Young), Janel Moloney (Josh's assistant, the ever-adorable Donnatella Moss), and the resurrected Rob Lowe (Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn from Orange County, CA!). The show focuses on the decisions made by the White House, how those decisions are made, and how those decisions are then communicated to the people.




In case you're worried that this show will be slow and boring, fear not. You're talking to a guy who, in early 2000, did not know that the George Bush running for President was actually the son of the former president, and not the same guy running again. Really. I'm not proud of that fact, but it's true. Maybe it has to do with my recent transfer into the Health Policy and Management department at school, but I am more excited than ever to watch, talk, read political stuff. I just re-read "The Agenda" by Bob Woodward, about Clinton's struggle to pass his economic plan during the first year of his presidency. Politics is a nasty game, and Washington is a nasty place. But it makes for great copy. So, now I'm rewatching Seasons 1 and 2 of "The West Wing" (bought them each on sale for $16 and $17, respectively) and loving it. You should too. (And seriously, how could you not love a show that brought the sublime Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years" out of retirement as a speechwriter named Elsie Snuffin?)

Biggie Ups...Respek

1. Congratulations to Danielle and Edwin on their recent engagement. While it worries me when my friends begin to make "big-boy and big-girl" decisions, I can't help but be extremely happy for their abilities to make those decisions. I, on the other hand, can barely take care of myself, so marriage would only be feasible if a nice lady offered to take care of me for the rest of our lives.

2. Belated wishes to Gerald, who in less than 2 months' time will be donning a goofy white hat and learning skills that will allow him to live out his dream of working in the culinary arts. Not only that, he will become a fellow alumnus of the great Bobby Flay (sorry, G, I know you're not a fan). Personally, I can't wait till he begins testing his creations on us, and then I can't wait to be a special guest at his many restaurants of the future. I'll feel like Tony Soprano to his Artie Bucco. (Side note: I can't wait till March - Season 6!)



3. So, I am printing out an article for class, and I do a double-take when I notice that one of the authors is Bianca K. Frogner. Kudos to Bianca for her fine work in public health. Here's a link to an article she published titled "Health Spending In The United States And The Rest Of The Industrialized World". Without a subscription, you can't read more than just the abstract, but ask me if you want to read it. Who knew that the incoming freshman I met on Move-In Day '97 would now be a doctoral candidate at the #1 public health program in the nation, not only churning out scholarly academic work but also dispensing invaluable snowboarding instruction.

4. Hurray for Jerome Bettis, a.k.a. "The Bus", a.k.a. "Bussie", for returning to his hometown of Detroit to play in the Super Bowl on Sunday, February 5th. Last year, after the Steelers went 15-1 only to lose the AFC Championship at home against the eventual champions, the Patriots, everyone on the team was understandably distraught. However, what many do not realize is that so much of their hurt stemmed from the fact that they had wanted to deliver "The Bus" to the Super Bowl but failed to do so. With Bettis contemplating retirement, the Steelers thought that they had missed their last chance, but now, the team has a golden opportunity to win one for their mentor and idol.



5. Finally, thanks to the SoHo Apple store for helping me resolve my iPod issue. After declaring the thing dead, my to-be-unnamed (for protection of the innocent) allowed me to replace my iPod with a new (or perhaps used or refurbished) one for $60. Though considerably bulkier than the trendy Nano, I could not justify passing up the opportunity to pay $190 less for 11 more GB of storage space. Once again, the music is in me. And for those of you too young to know what a 3rd generation iPod looks like, feast your eyes on a veritable dinosaur:

Sunday Sports Rundown

1. The Pittsburgh Steelers won their third consecutive road game in the NFL playoffs in defeating the Denver Broncos 34-17 to represent the American Football Conference in Super Bowl XL (that's 40, not extra-large). They entered Invesco Field in the Mile High City, overcame reduced oxygen and a bearded quarterback, and jumped out to a commanding 24-3 halftime lead, stunning not just the rowdy home crowd but also the 13-3 Broncos, the #2 seed in the playoffs. Big Ben Roethlisberger and the Steelers played with aggression and passion to carry their elder teammate, Jerome "The Bus" Bettis, back home to Detroit, where Super Bowl XL will be played on Sunday, February 5th. Here's hoping they pull out the victory for Bussie, as well as for Coach Bill Cowher (the guy on the sidelines who bears a striking resemblance to Sgt. Slaughter).

2. The Seattle Seahawks, playing in the loudest stadium in the league, defeated the Carolina Panthers 34-14 to clinch their first Super Bowl berth in their history, which dates back to 1976. What I thought would be a tough matchup turned out to be an utter domination by the Seahawks. Matt Hasselbeck and Shaun Alexander led the charge, while Panthers QB Jake Delhomme could never get on track, and WR Steve Smith was a virtual non-factor (aside from his punt return TD in the first half). The most dangerous receiver in the playoffs was limited to 2 catches for 8 yards. According to my brother, who lives in downtown Seattle, the city was alive with celebration after the game, with screams filling the streets and fireworks lighting up the sky.

3. Not to be outdone, the sport of basketball found a way to make the news as well. In Los Angeles, Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers torched the Toronto Raptors for 81 points, to give the Lakers a 122-104 victory in front of the Staples Center crowd. Bryant broke Elgin Baylor's team-record of 71 points in one game, and only trails Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point outburst as the second highest scoring performance of all time. Picking up where he left off from a game against Dallas, where he scored 62 points in only 3 quarters, Bryant played 42 minutes, made 28 of 42 field goals, 7 of 13 3-point shots, and 18 of 20 free throws, leading a Laker comeback that resulted in victory. (Thanks to Cody, who attended the game, for calling me about it just after it happened.) Here's the story if you want to read more. Even more impressive is the shot chart for the game. Use the drop-down menu to isolate Kobe's shots. That's a lot of hugs and kisses (X's and O's).

The Top 5 Reasons Why the Special Editions of the Star Wars Trilogy Suck (Or Why George Lucas Is a Self-Absorbed Fool)

In honor of last Saturday's Star Wars bonanza, here is a (slightly modified) resurrected post (from my old xanga blog):

5. At Mos Eisley in the Star Wars, Lucas added CGI effects to have Jawas riding large Banthas in the sand. At one point, a Bantha rears on its hind legs, and the Jawa slips off, screaming and hanging onto the ropes around the Bantha's head. Nothing too integral to the plot, yet it's just another example of Lucas' reliance on cheap physical humor laughs that are more cutesy than comical. It's the Ewok syndrome (don't even get me started on Return of the Jedi), where he's pandering to the audience and catering the films for his kids rather than realizing that his original core audience were alive in 1977, thus making them at least in their 30's, if not older. That's just a slap in the face because he made the first 2 films funny while being smart. Those are not mutually exclusive qualities. How did that scene further the movie at all in a technological way that Lucas was unable to include back in '77?

4. The revamped band scene in Return of the Jedi. First of all, it plays like a music video of a concert, including wild shrieks and extreme close-ups, another example of the cutesy crap I was talking about. The song sucks to boot, and is just highly unnecessary. This is supposed to be an ominous scene, the chamber of Jabba the Hutt, the mighty gangster who has been after Han Solo throughout the three movies. He's got a Rancor beast under the floor that eats people, Han's in carbonite, and the scene has all the elements for an exciting rescue by Luke Cocknocker, I mean Skywalker. Once again, Lucas ruins it.

3. Jabba the Hutt's cameo in Star Wars, where he is 5' 6'' and extremely slimmed down from when we see him in Return of the Jedi. Apparently, he really let himself go during those years. They might as well have just used a sock puppet to play him. And then, adding insult to injury, they include a little physical play where Han steps on Jabba, another example of the cheesy laugh. And this was one of the more anticipated scenes to be "restored" in the Special Editions. Can you say "Blue Screen"?

2. Luke's scream as he falls down the chute at the end of Empire Strikes Back, sans arm. Don't know what I'm talking about? Watch the original, he takes a swan dive instead of grabbing Vader's hand, then gets sucked down to a weather vane. Fine and dandy. Now, in the SE, he takes the plunge, only now you hear a continuous scream throughout his freefall and it just sounds bad. Why is he screaming anyway? He jumped off, it's not like he got scared or anything, he knew what he was doing. His bloodcurdling scream after losing his arm sounded authentic, but the long drawn-out scream is more like a fire engine demonstrating the Doppler Effect. (Update: see below)

1. Greedo shoots first. This has probably been discussed to death by other Star Wars dorks like myself. Kevin Smith mentioned it in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It's just an awful addition to the scene, both as a plot point and as a visual scene. First of all, how the hell does he miss so badly? He's sitting right across from Han, shouldn't he get his Bounty Hunter license revoked for that? The missed blaster shot looks really bad, making it that much more implausible. Second, it's meant to soften Han Solo's character. But, Han is a badass. He's a space pirate in the first movie. He's stashes illegal cargo and outruns big Corellian ships, not just bulk cruisers mind you. All he cares about is money, which is why he agrees to help Luke save Leia. And what do badasses do? They blast Bounty Hunters under the table so that they don't get taken in to the boss who's put a price on their head. His hard exterior is supposed to be chipped away as the movie goes on, so that when he doubles back to help Luke in the Death Star trench, its effect is greater. That's when he becomes softer, not in the cantina. Hell, he's still supposed to be a badass throughout the second movie as well, it's only in the third one where Lucas turns Han into a jealous, self-conscious, whining buffoon, for which I'll never forgive Sir George.

Update: After watching the DVD versions of the original trilogy, I have a few more gripes that Lucas did to further doctor the original movies in order to have consistency with the newer prequel trilogy. For instance, in Empire Strikes Back, he changes the scene where Darth Vader contacts the Emperor so that he can change the face of the Emperor to match that of Ian McDiarmid, the man who plays the role in Return of the Jedi as well as in the entire prequel trilogy. New CGI, even new dialogue, I'm not impressed. Also, he alters Boba Fett's voice to match that of Jango Fett from the prequels, removing the scratchy yet ominous voice for a more Australian or New Zealand-ish one. Unnecessary. And, at the end of Return of the Jedi, when the visions of Yoda, Anakin, and Obi-Wan greet Luke on Endor, Lucas changes Anakin to a young Hayden Christiansen. The only good thing is that he removes the scream that I mentioned in point #2 above.

All this has done is reinforce my own happiness for having stocked up on old versions of the trilogy, preserving the sanctity of the original theatrical films, such as the 2 THX VHS sets (1 for viewing and 1 for safe keeping) and 2 laserdisc sets I bought through Ebay. I don't even care that I don't have a laserdisc player to watch them; after all, they're for my kids. Ha! I'm just talking crazy. Who's gonna be stupid enough to have kids with a lunatic like me?

You "Padme" At Hello

Weather-wise, Saturday was a beautiful day, with initial warnings of showers never coming true and, instead, clear skies resting high above. Now, how does one take advantage of such limited nice weather during a New York winter? Stroll through Soho? Whisk away to the West Village? Skating at Central Park? Nope. Here's how:

By sitting in an apartment for 13.5 hours, watching The Star Wars Saga, Episodes I through VI, and loving it. Here's a rough play-by-play account of the proceedings, so that you can see how to not only succeed as well, but can do so with enough strength left over to go out to a party across town just to see a friend who is visiting for the weekend. Respect!

9:54am - Gerald, Susana (props to the mastermind behind this event), and I arrive at Jeff's Gramercy Park apartment. Furniture is rearranged, aerobed is inflated, the stage is set...



10:07am - The 20th Century Fox theme, the green Lucasfilm Ltd. screen, the infamous "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." screen, and then ... the music. Yellow title crawls up the screen for "The Phantom Menace".


10:16am - Jar Jar Binks makes his first appearance. A fully digital main character, Jar Jar is truly an achievement in the burgeoning world of digital cinema.


10:17am - I grow tiresome of Jar Jar Binks. He is truly an abomination in the slowly deteriorating world of Star Wars fandom.

10:30am - R2D2 receives commendation for its role as a service droid.

10:35am - Padme Amidala (played by Natalie Portman) kneels and cleans off R2D2, striking a pose that will be recreated in the beginning of the original "Star Wars", when Princess Leia hides the Death Star plans inside of R2 before her blockade runner is boarded by Darth Christiansen, I mean Vader.

10:37am - Jake Lloyd, the annoying boy who will grow up to become the annoying Hayden Christiansen, utters the classic line "Are you an angel?" to Natalie Portman, proving that no matter how young (he was 9 as of filming) you are, Natalie requires your A-game in order to get into her frock.

(Side note: in a scene where Jar Jar eats some food from a street vendor, the owner says, "Die wanna wanga?", which the subtitles translate as "Are you gonna pay for that?" However, in Return of the Jedi, when C3PO enters Jabba's palace, Bib Fortuna, Jabba's assistant, says the same thing to C3PO, with no subtitle but clearly not to mean the same thing. After all, there was no mention of things being paid for in that scene. I'm disgusted at the inconsistency.)

10:44am - C3PO, the robot that Anakin builds in his youth, is introduced. As you can see, I am taking copious notes on the proceedings. To maintain strong mind and body, Susana begins a yoga regimen. Off in the corner, Jeff and Gerald begin to make omelettes.


11:05am - The pod race, which will gain Anakin his freedom from slavery, begins.

11:55am - Darth Maul, the best character of the prequel trilogy, enters the best, and actually only good, scene in the entire movie. Cue the chorus, it's time for a lightsaber battle.


12:16pm - We've done it! Episode I is in the books, and thus, we've survived the worst of it. It's like climbing Mount Everest, only you have to begin with the Hilary Step. From then on, everything else is gravy. Smooth sailing to the summit!


12:17pm - Episode II - Attack of the Clones. Beware - romance is right around the corner!


12:35pm - Gerald begins to debone a chicken. He came under the pretense of cooking for us, but said he would be in-and-out all day. Would he go back on his word? Would he stay till the bitter end? Find out as the day progresses into night!

1:07pm - Film hits an all-time low when Anakin, in an attempt to impress Padme, proceeds to ride an animal like a surfboard in what amounts to the worst example of CGI ever. It's like a bad film student's thesis project, and I, for one, am not impressed. Notes are being taken less frequently as rigor mortis begins to set in. We're only 2.5 hours in, could our plan of having the worst movies first backfire on us?


1:08pm - Young Boba Fett is seen, strangely with an Australian or New Zealand accent (no big deal until the later films, when George Lucas redubs Fett's lines with this new voice, thus further ruining all that is good in this world)

1:47pm - Lunch is served! Thank you Gerald and Jeff for rice and curry chicken with green peppers, green beans, eggplant, and zucchini. I'm sweating like a madman so it's Sapporo or bust for me.


(unknown time) - Yoda mysteriously transforms into Pikachu, the wily yellow character in Nintendo's hit Super Smash Brothers. Sadly, I am disappointed that Yoda uses a lightsaber. In my mind, that weapon is beneath him, but when I saw this at midnight on opening night in 2002, a lot of nerdy superfans cheered at this scene, so I could be wrong. I, on the other hand, sulked.


2:37pm - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. Because this was the most recent film that we'd all seen, we decided to have a friendly no-limit hold'em poker tournament during the film. In retrospect, had we not done this, I don't know if we would have made it through the whole marathon. And Mike shows up, making our ragtag bunch a party of five.


2:40pm - Shuffle up and deal...


4:37pm - Many hands later, we take a moment of silence for Anakin Skywalker's legs and arm, which were all chopped off by one masterful swipe from Obi-Wan McGregor, er Kenobi. Obi-Wan leaves Anakin to catch on fire and wiggle in the sand. Mike says that the honorable thing for Obi-Wan to do would have been to kill Anakin and end his pain. I concur, but then there would have been that minor inconsistency of Darth Vader never being created, which would have conflicted with the three films of the original Star Wars trilogy. Even short-sighted George Lucas would have had trouble missing that plot hole. Not to mention the later-revealed inconsistency in "Star Wars", when Vader and Kenobi have their really slow yet still epic lightsaber duel, where Vader says "The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master." But wait ... didn't Obi-Wan leave Anakin. On the ground. With no arms and legs. On fire. Looks like somebody is suffering from some recall bias. Even if he had tried to leave Obi-Wan then, he would have been too slow, and Ewan could have just run past him and claimed he was the one leaving. Get yer facts straight, Darth!

4:46pm - Darth Vader, the most recognizable and formidable villian in cinematic history, is created. His first words? "Where is Padme?" Wuss. His reaction to finding out she's dead? "NOOOOOOOOOO!" Want to hear it for yourself? Go here. Hollywood is dead to me.

4:55pm - Finally. Episode IV - A New Hope (a.k.a. Star Wars)


5:05pm - In heads-up play between Susana and myself, I come out victorious in the poker tournament. My prize? A free dinner, courtesy of everyone else. No bracelet, but I'm getting a pizza instead.

5:13pm - Han Solo, the coolest cat in the galaxy, is introduced (not counting Return of the Jedi, but see below for explanation)

5:50pm - Pizza By The Inch arrives. Susana and Jeff open the door for the pizza guy. Everyone's differs. I got pepperoni and roasted peppers. Buen provecho!



6:44pm - Rebel assault on the Death Star. But I am getting TIRED. As you can see, notes have dwindled. Night is upon us. While I am tired, Mike is OUT. And Gerald? Still going strong (though unseen, since he's the cameraman).



6:56pm - Desperate times call for desperate measures. To Starbucks we go, a liquid crack injection we are to have. For 9.5 hours, watching films we have been. Behind us, two-thirds of the saga is. Weary though we are, excited are we to see Yoda, the Jedi Master.


7:12pm - Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (my favorite movie of all-time)


7:20pm - Mike leaves. And then there were four, again.

(various times) - Han Solo is elevated to the status, not only of Smuggler/Captain/Scoundrel, but to PIMP of the galaxy. I'll save it for a later post, but several scenes demonstrate why he is the baddest MF of all-time.

9:17pm - Episode VI - Return of the Jedi


10:02pm - Yoda dies, everybody dances now, and Jeff makes nachos. I'd explain more, but you still wouldn't understand.

10:39pm - As stated earlier, Han Solo loses one of his testicles at the hands of the writers and director of the film. "Could you tell Luke, is that who you could tell?"

11:09pm - Susana proclaims, "I'm so tired!" 20 minutes remaining in the marathon, she just might not make it to the finish line. The rules are stipulated to her that if she falls asleep within 20 minutes of the end, she is disqualified and must start again from the beginning. She protests, swinging violently at anyone within her path. The adrenaline seems to help her cause, however, for she is now wide awake.

11:21pm - Han's other testicle is lopped off, culminating in the ultimate character assassination on screen since the Keith Hernandez spitting incident on Seinfeld. "You love him, don't you? All right. I understand. Fine. When he comes back, I won't get in the way." A moment of silence for Han Solo. And I hate the Ewoks. (For anyone else who hates Return of the Jedi, read this. It's from "The Star Wars Compendium", and is a hilariously accurate assessment of the film which highlights just how much it deviated from the greatness of the first two films of the original trilogy.

11:26pm - The circle is now complete. Now, off to EarthNYC in the meatpacking district. Six consecutive films, and we can still go out? We are party animals. Star Wars-lovin' party animals.


Final thoughts - Now, did the viewing enhance my appreciation for the entire saga, or did it merely enlighten me to the growing mediocrity of the Star Wars universe? No and no. I knew what I was getting into. And it wasn't about the end result. No, what this marathon taught me was that the journey is the truly important thing. And journeys are always better when there are omelettes, curry, beer, pizza, nachos, poker, and good friends to share them all with.