Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris

Click here for a link that is dedicated to the man who saved Average Joe's during the ADAA Dodgeball Championship and who inspired Conan O'Brien's Walker, Texas Ranger lever.

How Prolific!

In case you haven't noticed, I've put a bunch of posts today. Well, I'm just transferring the most recent ones from my xanga site over to this one, still not sure which one I'll stay with (if not both).

Well, now that I've realized that pictures make things so much better on this site, here's a quick one to check out this interesting mash-up of Queen and 50 Cent (like Danger Mouse's "Grey Album" or Jay-Z and Linkin Park's "duets"). The picture alone deserves your respect, but there are actually a few tracks that turned out nice.

If nothing else, get:
-We Will Rock You In Da Club
-This Is How We Bite The Dust
-Candy Bottom Girls (if I had to pick a third)



Q-Unit - Greatest Hits

By the way, what did 50 Cent say to his grandma when he saw her knitting a sweater?
-"Gee, you knit?" (thank you, thank you, you're far too kind!)

Oooh, lala lala lah...

In 2000, ABC teamed with music producer Lou Pearlman to create "Making The Band", a reality show that would chronicle the formation of a new boy band in the vein of Pearlman's prior successes, The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync. The winners, O-Town, found modest success with their first single, "Liquid Dreams", which sounds like a messy problem that adolescents sometimes experience. But, their ultimate demise was encapsulated perfectly at the 2001 Miss America Pagaent, where they belted out a frighteningly off-key and hair-raising performance of said number. You can find copies of that rendition online if you know what I mean, and I'm not talking about iTunes. I thought about having it play in the background of this site, but I fear no one will continue to read once the music hits your ears.

Then, in 2003, P. Diddy took the mantle of "Making The Band" and created a sequel with the help of MTV. His goal? Create the ultimate hip hop group, a mixture of singers and MCs that would rival the work of previous Bad Boy artists like Notorious BIG, Mase, and 112. P. Diddy upped the ante, adding his own touch with elements like "Bad Boy Boot Camp", and ultimately came up with a 6-person group affectionately called "Da Band". It had members named Chopper, Babs, and Dylan (pronounced "Die-lawn"), and my favorite member was Fredrick, aka "Miami", with his gritty, raspy voice that made him sound like a slightly higher-pitched DMX. Wondering why you can't remember who I'm talking about? Well, it's because the six of them never really gelled. Unless when you say "gelled", you mean that they liked to have fist fights with each other. Because they were great at that.

So, that brings us to 2005. A new group ... a girl group ... finally, a recipe for success. But, wait. There was a "Making The Band 3" back in April. The group was whittled down to 7 ladies, but in the end, P. Diddy was unsatisfied with the potential final product, so he ended the show without forming a group. Not so easy making a supergroup, huh? Better to save your money than to put out a half-ass product like O-Town and Da Band. What did the newly christened Diddy do? He brought three girls over from the previous season and resurrected MTB3.

And what a resurrection it has been!

Next Thursday, December 8th, at 10pm (the 10 Spot), Diddy will announce the members of the new group during the season finale of Making The Band 3. It's been a wild ride, and nothing was more tense than yesterday night's episode. The remaining 11 ladies were separated into 2 groups, one led by Aubrey (the hottest one and virtually a shoo-in for the group), and the other led by Aundrea (my personal favorite, adorable and spunky). Both were returners from the first season, and I'll die if Aundrea doesn't make it. Here are the lovely leaders:



The two groups prepare full performances with vocals, dancing, outfits, and choreography, and they are each to perform as opening acts for The Backstreet Boys, letting the audience decide who has put on a better show. Aubrey's group, called S.H.E. (She Has Everything), consists of herself, Jasmine, Kelli, Melissa, and Denosh (the dictator). They come out for their performance in white booty shorts and gold bras, opting for the sexy route. Aundrea's group, Chain 6 (linked together, six members, blah blah blah), includes herself, Shannon, Dawn, Dominique, Wanita, and Taquita. They dress in throwback 1930's-style outfits (think of paperboys, with hats, long shorts, suspenders), choosing sass over sex appeal. In rehearsals, Aundrea's group is tight, Aubrey's is a mess. But, at their dress rehearsal in front of Laurie Ann, the choreographer, and Doc Holliday, the vocal coach, Chain 6 comes out scared once they see the booty shorts. Can we say intimidation? They falter, question themselves, do a sound check, and get called out by one of the judges. Aundrea's crying, feeling the pressure on her shoulders (not to mention the fact that a previous episode was centered around Diddy mentally breaking her down), and there's 20 minutes before they're set to go on stage.

So, what happens? SHE goes up first, sexy outfits and all. They start off badly, when Denosh begins singing at the wrong pitch, and you can see the horrified looks on Laurie Ann's face just listening to them. They shake their stuff, but when all is said and done, the crowd reaction is filled with more boo's than cheers. Then, Chain 6 takes the stage, fresh from the grilling they endured telling them that they weren't selling the song, that they needed to feel it more. Naturally, they tear it up, and the crowd goes nuts. They even keep showing this mom holding her baby and screaming wildly for them. I was so relieved because I was afraid if Aundrea's group choked, it'd be her ass. But, they came through, and I am as relieved as I was when I thought she was getting cut a few weeks ago. Now, there is just one more week of agony before the final lineup is revealed.

Here is the group I want: Aundrea, Aubrey, Dominque, Taquita, Dawn

Can you feel the excitement? I didn't think so. But if nothing else, I can at least take heart in the fact that I have fallen in love with the t-shirt, army fatigue pants, and big hair look. Boo yeah. That's my girl...can you say volumizer?!

Being Chuck Klosterman ... (or, How Crazy Celebrities Have Now Ruined The Films Of My Childhood)

I just finished watching Top Gun on HBO, and it is remarkable to think of how that film has withstood the test of time, having been released about 20 years ago during the Cold War and, yet, still managing to be exciting and funny (although, in a different way, to be discussed in a bit) and alarmingly patriotic. However, there is something very different about the viewing experience now as compared to when I saw it in theaters with my parents as an 8 year-old child. At that time, all I thought of was wanting to be a fighter pilot and wanting to feel the need ... the need for speed. And were they putting their tongues in each other's mouths???!!! I didn't know at the time that that was how it was done. And only last week was I finally able to confirm for myself that Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis were dropping science when they filmed that scene! It's open mouth from here on out! But NOW, things are a little different. When I see "Maverick" give the salute and the thumbs-up sign while in the cockpit, I can't help but picture him also pounding his fist on the floor, jumping up onto his seat with arms raised, and screaming/laughing creepily, all because of my former love, Katie. He's not the badass loose-cannon fighter pilot, or "naval aviator" as he explains in the movie, but rather, he's the crazy actor setting up Scientology tents at movie sets and inviting coworkers to get massages from his fellow crazy Scientologists. Now, I see Maverick reprimanding Matt Lauer, and I don't like it one bit. I admit that I was a pretty decent fan of Mr. Mapother IV, what with his great performances in Magnolia, Rain Man, Mission Impossible (1, not 2), and Jerry Maguire. He branched out and took risks in certain roles, and he was a short mega-star. What a role model. But, everything's changed. Now, he's going mental on Oprah, chewing out Brooke Shields, impregnating women half his age. I'm being completely serious when I say that I cannot and do not watch his old movies in the same way anymore.

On a side note, another thing I've noticed when revisiting movies from my youth is that there are nuances that I never picked up on as a child. Using Top Gun as a reference again, I never noticed just how homo-erotic the film is. There are 2 women in the film, surrounded by dozens of men, often times shown wearing just towels in the locker room. Maverick and Iceman share a number of intense conversations that involve a great deal of "close-talking" ("That's right, Ice ... man. I AM dangerous."). And hello, was that prolonged beach volleyball scene really necessary to the plot? You know, the scene that is accompanied by the Kenny Loggins song, "Playing With the Boys"? I'm not sure but that scene must have a place high up on the Bill Simmons Unintentional Comedy Scale. If not, I'll cut my nuts off like that soccer player. Anyway, just goes to show you that aging merely leads to lost innocence. 20 years time leads to initial reactions of "Wow, they're all really good at volleyball!" that have now evolved into "Is this really happening? Did Joel Schumacher direct this movie?"

Back to business. Another example of crazy man who has thoroughly altered my viewing experiences: Mel Gibson. I LOVED Lethal Weapons 1 and 2, absolutely loved them. Mel had a knack for great balance of drama and comedic chops. Yeah, LW 3 and 4 became caricatures, but especially in the original Lethal Weapon, Mel played Martin Riggs beautifully, with just enough dry wit to complement his suicidal, Vietnam-vet character. Now, he's making 2.5 hour torture movies and showing off his uber-fundamental Catholic views. I think his anger at Diane Sawyer was a template for Tom going off on Lauer. I mean, seriously, is it really necessary to show Jesus getting his ass beat for like 30 minutes? And blaming his death on the Jews? What happened to the William Wallace I knew and loved? Now, I'm not nearly as sad when I see him get disemboweled. Wow, that was a bit harsh. I take that last comment back.

Final example for now: The Governator. How does Conan The Barbarian, the Terminator, Dutch the Predator-killer, Ben Richards the "Butcher of Bakersfield" suddenly become Governor of Kah-lee-foe-nya? Go back to killing terrorists, rescuing Alyssa Milano, teaching kids about penises, vaginas, and tumors, and having children. Ruined all these movies for me too. Predator, Commando, Kindergarten Cop, Twins, Terminators 1 and 2, The Running Man, Jingle All the (uh, wait...). But then again, I guess he was crazy all along, what with all the reports of his swinging, orgy-having, ass-grabbing days as a body builder. Now, instead of John Connor, he's telling the uninsured of California, "Come with me if you want to live." And the sad thing is that even as I joke about it, he DOES use old movie lines in his regular government work. And if he doesn't like what I'm writing, all I have to say is, "C'mon! Kill me! I'm hee-uh! Do it nowwww!"

My childhood joys are being systematically destroyed over time, and it saddens me. I don't even want to begin to explain how George Lucas has utterly massacred the Star Wars Trilogy with his prequel disasters. Now, I see Darth Vader in Star Wars and I imagine whiny Hayden with his rat-tail under that helmet, being a little bitch. Sad...

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If anyone has read this far, thank you. You've almost made my day. If you leave me a nice comment, then you will have made my day. Happy turkey day.

"It's been a while ..." (wait a minute, Stain'd sucks ... ignore this title)

Here are some random stream-of-consciousness thoughts in an attempt to make up for much lost time (in no particular order):


1. I love "Making the Band 3". Yes, Aubrey is hot, but there is something I like about Aundrea. She is so cute and spunky, and her big hair is rad.

2. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire comes out on Friday. I am going to watch a midnight showing Thursday night because I wish I was going to Hogwarts instead of Columbia.

3. The Green Bay Packers are terrible this year, 1-7, but I refuse to agree with my brother, who says that they should trade Favre to invest in the future. There is too much sentimentality to overcome.

4. I'm re-reading "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card. A fantastic sci-fi book, very accessible for people like me who are not sci-fi fans.

5. The new Franz Ferdinand album, "You Could Have It So Much Better" is fantastic. You should listen to it right now.

6. The weather is getting colder here. This week, the temperature is supposed to dip into the 30's. It's beginning to look, er feel, a lot like Christmas.

7. I still don't know how I feel about the Lakers. My anger has subsided a little, so I will cheer for them again, but that doesn't mean that I'm not still rooting for the Heat to take it to the house.

8. My parents visited me last weekend, and my mom brought me blankets, dinnerware, avocadoes, and my Korean CD's, among other things. My parents kick ass, and mid-to-late Korean music still sounds pretty great. Cool, HOT, Kim Gun Mo, RooRa, Seo Taiji, the list goes on.

9. "The Girl Next Door" is on HBO right now. I could watch that movie a zillion times, and it'll never get old. Maybe it's because of Elisha Cuthbert, but I'm not sure...

10. Hillary Duff looks like a horse. She must have had some kind of surgery to suck in her cheeks and push out her teeth. She's a thoroughbred. She sucks, and so does Lindsay Lohan.

11. Cal vs. USC is this Saturday. Though the matchup has lost some of its lustre in the wake of Cal's struggles this season, never forget which team USC last lost to. And USC has been known to coast this season, what with slow starts against Oregon, Washington, and Arizona State. You gotta believe!

12. Last Saturday, I met Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton. She was in Washington Heights, in support of mayoral candidate Fernando Ferrer. She was coming out of a flower shop a block from my apartment, and my parents and I happened to catch her before she got to the crowds waiting for her. Clinton in 2008? Something needs to be done, that's for sure.

13. Go to the VisionShock party in SF on Saturday night, and support my buddy Drew. www.visionshocksf.com

14. Watch Arrested Development, Monday nights at 8pm on Fox. If you take the time to watch Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD, you will be rewarded by a show that is smart, funny, crude, and makes fun of Orange County. 'Nuff said.

15. The Kansas Board of Education approved local schools to cast doubt on evolutionary theory, a calculated move to inject religion, and probably "intelligent design", into public school education. I respect others' religious views, but speaking as someone who went to nine years of Catholic school, got confirmed and all that jazz, I am also able to distinguish ideas of science from ideas of faith. It's unfortunate that the red states aren't.

16. For all you desk-job working stiffs, watch the UK version of "The Office". It's a little too eerily reminiscent of my old auditing job, but the British humor of it is briliant. And once you watch the whole series, Seasons 1, 2, and the Christmas Special, you'll never hear Take That's "Back For Good" the same way again. Unless you're the Tin Man, and you have no heart.

17. Last month, I went to a book signing by Giada de Laurentiis, the host of "Everyday Italian" on the Food Network. I had her sign a book for my mom's birthday. If you're like me and think she's adorable on the show, see her in person. I wish I could marry her, even in spite of the fact that she seems to have a somewhat disproportionate head size.

18. Have you played Sudoku, the international craze? Go to http://www.dailysudoku.co.uk/sudoku/index.shtml. If you've never heard of this, just look around and you might notice it more than you did in the past. It's all over book stores, and it's even in newspapers next to the crosswords. Addicting, that is if you're a complete hermit loser like me.

19. On America's Next Top Model, one of the contestants went to college at Wesleyan with my friend Beth. The contestant is the lesbian named Kim, and she's got a pretty good shot of going all the way, now that the group is down to like 6 girls. Wednesday nights on UPN at 8pm (Wednesdays are suddenly TV day, what with ANTM, Lost, Veronica Mars. And I have no idea what day it's on, but "Everybody Hates Chris" is hilarious too. Yes, I know, I'm apparently watching too much TV. I'm a complete hermit loser, remember?)

20. Biostatistics is a fun class. It's more or less statistics with biology examples, only it's moving REEEEAAAALLLY slowly. Secretly, I just want to learn the concept so I can start winning at casinos or sportsbooks. Or at the very least, my stupid fantasy football leagues.

21. I went to a lecture by a doctor from Stanford who is studying the effects of expectations and stereotypes that affect minority and/or women standardized test takers. For instance, since women are often portrayed in the media as being poorly skilled in the sciences, researchers have conducted studies examining the effects of these expectations on female test takers, because women oftentimes try too hard to erase the stereotype while taking these exams, and in doing so, stress themselves out more to the point of doing poorly. However, when told that men and women fare the same on the test or when reinforced that women do just as well as men on the test, their scores indeed increase considerably. The same goes for minority test-takers on exams like the SAT. The speaker called these "contingencies of identity", the identifying markers that we feel are under attack, thus causing us to pay more attention to them, things like race, religion, age. Different ones evoke responses in different people, but think about your own hot buttons. They're there, aren't they?

22. Sylvester Stallone is apparently making new additions to both the Rocky and Rambo franchises. Rocky 6 and Rambo 4 are in production, and I heard that in the new Rocky flick, he fights his greatest opponent yet, glaucoma. And with the new Indiana Jones film, also starring Harrison Ford, we could see some classic franchises go down in flame (like that one saga that got ruined by those 3 prequels ... what was it called again?). Although, I think Rambo 3 might have already killed that one years ago.

23. Don't tell anyone at my school, but every now and then, I go to the McDonald's across the street, stand outside in the 24-hour express window and buy chicken mcnuggets. In public health, there are many things that colleagues thumb their nose at. One of them is smoking. Another is eating fast food. I literally stand there in line and pray no one sees me. For such open-minded people, PH students can be remarkably judgmental and intolerant.

24. In my spare time, I'm trying to learn spanish. 3 years of it in high school helped little, although a decent amount has come back to me since I started my class. Tengo hambre. Tengo sed. Soy koreano. Estuve cansado ayer, pero estoy contento hoy. Soy un perdedor. I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me...

25. What's up with all these disasters lately? 9/11, Katrina, Rita, the tsunami, the earthquake in Pakistan, the Bush administration, and the list goes on. Feels like Armaggeddon. Thank God Ben Affleck and Bruce Willis are still around to save our asses.

26. OK, my last TV mention. Watch "Firefly", Joss Whedon's (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) last cancelled-too-early show, a western-esque show set 500 years in the future. Where outlaws fly the friendly skies along the outer rim of the solar system, both being bad and being the good guys. Then, watch "Serenity", the movie that fans lobbied for and that does a great job furthering the television show's storyline before it was prematurely axed by those idiots at Fox.

27. To honor my current age, here is my final thought for now, and it pertains to my future career. I hope to go to medical school in a couple years, so if anyone of you have the hook-up, please speak up. I need all the help I can get. I'll give you a free physical in return! Actually, scratch that.