This Rod Gets The Shaft

Andy Samberg (SNL) stars in "Hot Rod," a new film being released in theaters this Friday. In it, he plays Rod Kimble, a man-child who wants to follow in his late father's footsteps and be a stuntman, doing amazing tricks on his moped. Naturally, he is terrible at stunts, thanks in part to his crew of idiot friends, including Bill Hader (also of SNL). This is a project from the Lonely Island comedy team (Samberg, Jorma Taccone who plays Rod's brother Kevin, and director Akiva Shaffer), the group that produced the "Lazy Sunday" and "Dick in a Box" digital shorts on SNL. Put all this together, and this should be a slam dunk, right?

Hell no.

A dumb plot (Rod wants to jump 15 buses to raise the $50,000 needed to save his step-father's life...so that he can finally kick his step-dad's ass and earn his respect) gets combined with lame characters (They either try too hard to pull off redneck cliches, or they try too hard to evoke Napoleon Dynamite - brother Kevin looks and acts like Kip, one guy's name is Rico, they dance badly, they have moronic quirks and mannerisms) to make a really lousy film. Most of the jokes tried too hard, fell flat, felt forced, or just made no sense. It was like one really bad episode of SNL, so save your $10 and just turn on the tv at 11:30 on Saturday night. I pray for those people in the audience yesterday who were rolling in the aisles. I guess drugs will do that to you.

Strictly For My Golden Bears

In the late 90's to early 2000s (and maybe beyond), UC Berkeley was truly blessed by the ubiquitous presence of a mysterious, yet strangely captivating, figure around campus. Usually identified by either a long trench coat or a tight, purple, velour shirt, this well-built, Asian specimen was known only as "Cool Guy" or "Triangle Man". Sometimes, he would be spotted whipping out his flip-phone and answering calls as if he were Neo trapped in the Matrix. Other sightings included him studying in the library with his carrel filled with little cards consisting of self-affirmation messages. Otherwise, he was in the gym, pumping iron and further developing his "triangle"-shaped physique. If you never knew of this man, you would probably think I was crazy. But, if the words "Cool Guy" or "Triangle Man" immediately made you laugh, then you are a member of a rather large Cal community that was mesmerized by this phenomenon.

So, why am I writing about this? Because when I read this article, I could not help but notice the striking similarities between our "Cool Guy" and this so-called He-Man. Maybe they hail from the same planet and by understanding one, more knowledge might be gained about the other, or even their species as a whole. The limits are truly endless. This must be what Kennedy felt as he started the Space Program.